So Sorry... I have not been posting real well... We have had two more calves last week and we had to do A LOT to prepare for them with the cold weather we have had. All this busy-ness... has cause me to back-slide a little with the whole dieting thing.. I wouldn't get time to eat so I'd grab something on my way out the door and it normally would be carbs.. I must say I am happy to report at least it was healthy carbs like bananas or an apple.. So I will be working on it hard... My biggest challenge is time... i need to be better about preparing my meals. When I get in a hurry is when things go south... I am going to be a planner this week..

Day 4

I can say I have been suffering from the sugar withdrawl headache now for most of yesterday evening and it's been pretty bad this morning.... This is the part that is normally hard to press-on through. It would be so much easier to grab some carbs and get rid of that headache....but as I sit here with the headache I think I don't want to go through this again....so I am going to press on.. If you think about it, it's kinda scary to know how bad sugar can be when it can alter the way you feel and you can have such horrible withdrawals from. Sugar can be like crack. Today I am choosing self control. I have never been a girl that likes drugs and seeing how sugar is being put in that category I'm not going with it.
Yesterday lunch was a 4oz piece of flounder(which I have grown to LOVE) and some steamed veggies... Dinner was 6oz flounder, steamed broccoli, and a salad.

This morning's breakfast was 2 scrambled eggs mixed with 2 thin slices of chopped ham, and some fresh strips of green peppers.
One last thing I wanted to say is DON"T feel sorry for me.. I am actually in a pretty good place right now. This is a place of climbing out of the hole on my own. I have always had some come fetch me out of that hole, but it's amazing how much further you can go when you climb out all by yourself. I haven't totally bounced back yet but I AM!! I think the only reason I have not is because of the with drawls I am going through. I have recognized those as acts from the enemy and that's why I am pushing through so hard!!! Thank you Jesus for the strength!!

end of day 2 into Day 3

Well last night was OK.. I went bowling and I thought it was going to be hard smelling fried food... I did well I just chewed on my Extra gum and enjoyed the game. Lunch I ended up having 2 cups of cooked Broccoli and Dinner was 8oz of chicken Breast. Not exactly what I had set out as my meals but it was better than failing..
I realized today why failing was so easy.... I get to a point I am busy and don't think about eating till I am about to pass out so I hurry and just grab something that will get my sugar up.. Yesterday that's why i went with the seamed broccoli for lunch. My big mistake there is broccoli still has carbs(even though healthy ones) and I did not consume any protein so I didn't get full or I should say I didn't stay full and it didn't hold me long before I felt starved.. So I ended up eating more chicken than I normally would.
This morning I had 2 eggs and a low Fat yogurt. Which is still OK but yogurt has a lot of carbs which I was trying to steer away from.. my goal for today... if I get the time.. is to set up my meals (including preparing them) for the next two days.. It will make me less likely to fail. When I get to that point when my sugar drops I just want to grab something quick that will pick up my sugar fast so I will feel better. and it just so happens that, that is normally a carb.. Temptations are hard but I am totally resisting so far. This is really important to me.. I am totally feeling the drag from no sugar and weening myself off caffeine.. I can feel it.... Good day so far though!!

Health and Fitness Tracking - The bodybugg® personal calorie management ...

Day 2

OK.... So today is the beginning!!! I woke with the boys and got a shower. Felt good to get moving early.. Still dealing with fatigue. Breakfast this morning was an Atkins Strawberry Shake with 1 net Carbs.. Wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I am charging my "Body Bugg" to get it back on later today. It is a wonderful gift my hubby got me for Christmas. It lets me know exactly how many calories I am burning each day. My goal is to have somewhere around 1750 calorie deficit each day during my two week boot camp. With 3500 calorie deficit that should be a pound lost every two days for a total of 7 pounds by the end of boot camp.... :) WE WILL SEE!!! I'm Optimistic!!! Off to the farm to do chores (and burn some calories)..I will be checking back later today to post my energy levels and menu from the rest of the day.... Wish me luck!!

Day 1

ok.... So this is it!!! I have totally hit rock bottom>>>> I will start this blog as a commitment to my final journey to weight loss success.. I have started and failed at every diet out there and I have chose for this to be it. I am willing to totally expose every possible moment of the journey with the goal that hopefully the embarrassing exposure will finally do it for me. I have always kept all my feelings, success, and failures either to myself or just between me and a few friends. So this is it... I lost almost 60 lbs over a year and half ago, then in June 2010 we moved to Ohio. I gained somewhere between 30-40 pounds of that back. I have spent so much time depressed and playing dieting yo-yo games and constantly a horrible failure. Well now I have been on a medication for several months now that should make me lose anywhere from 10-30 pounds a month...well I have lost maybe 10 and have just maintained over probably a 5 month period...That is such bull!! I can do better than this. I have used every excuse from we moved to Ohio (with no resources to work out), my husband is out of town for long periods of time, I'm depressed, so many changes and responsibilities in my life right now...lonely.. NO more!! No more excuses!!! I am so tired of being the lazy mom that can't seem to get out of bed most days than to even be able to enjoy my children.. I have reached out and joined some committees and woman's groups.. I am also starting a diet kind of on my own type of thing that I am going to list a list of rules, commitments, and goals that I will be adding and maybe changing things daily to what works for me.. I will be forwarding this to family and friends to pray for, keep me accountable and to be a good support system... Please help me!! Join me!! Whatever works for you!!! Some brutal truth may be necessary sometimes (I will NOT take offense to it).
You maybe asking why today?? What is so special about today??? Well I want to share with you my morning... I woke this morning choking at 5:30am because I could not breathing... The gasping for air (for what seemed like 10 minutes) scared the crap out of me...The things that entered my mind were so disturbing.... how will the kids respond to my death if I die... how would my family?? What would Matt and the kids do?? How did I get here again?.... I was once here before and said I would not get here again. I finally caught my breath. I spent the next 30 minutes praising God for letting me live. I got the boys up for school and collapsed back in bed, feeling like I had no energy to even move let alone see them out the door. 20 minutes after they left I managed to crawl back out of bed to wake Madi for school. She got in the bath as I fell back it to bed. 30 minutes later I woke panic ed that I didn't hear Madi splashing in the tub. I called her name and she didn't answer.... I jumped up running... she was downstairs, dressed getting her own lunch ready. I felt horrible.... I got her out the door and on the bus.. Feeling miserable I got the last piece of the ice cream cake out of the freezer, and a spoon and collapsed back in bed to watch and sulk with my ice cream. I had awaken twice to 2 phones but didn't totally get out of bed till noon.. This is not a typical day for me but I was feeling depressed and I have been suffering some major fatigue. I did take advantage of the situation.. Still laying there I decided to catch up on a few recorded DVR things I had missed over the past month... I chose the Biggest Loser today... It totally inspired me!!! I decided I did not want to get to the position where these people were and as of right now I am well on my way!!
So I ran downstairs got my wallet(credit card) and said I was finally committing to Kimkins lifetime membership that I have debated and wanted to for over a year now. I know that the thing that works the best for me is a low calorie, low/no carbs diet. They have delicious easy low carb recipes that I have used a lot with my last diet that I did do so well with. I have decided I am not going to share my weight today.. I will share my weight lost once a week and most likely will share my start weight once I am in a comfortable place... So I have a menu that I will be going to Walmart tonight to make sure I have everything I need for the next 3 days.. I will be cutting out all the sugar so I know that most likely I will be hitting an all time low with headaches and other symptoms that I will have to work through without having to deal with the whole grocery store thing. So wish me luck... I will be listing some aides that I will be using to help me through this along with my menu I will be using later tonight or tomorrow.....